~ Oh wait a minute. He’s cute 😉 ~
Happy Tuesday! Piggy backing off of last week’s post, this week I wanted to dive a little bit deeper into today’s dating world. Get ready, it’s a long one!
Quite frankly, dating kinda sucks. With the Covid-19 virus going viral, face-to-face dating has become a thing of the past and meeting people organically is borderline nonexistent. So, since we are unable to meet people the old-fashioned way, we’re all reverting to online dating. Us single people that is. Oh joy *eye roll*. Okay, okay, I can’t completely bash it. One of my longest and greatest friends met her husband on Tinder, before it became the hook-up site, and they’ve been happily married ever since. I also know a few other couples who are happily married and met on a dating app. So, I know these sites can lead to love, but we all know it is few and far between.
I’ve only had the more popular dating apps – Hinge, Bumble, Tinder. Here’s my honest opinion about these three. I’m convinced that Tinder is strictly a hookup site, more so than the others. I’m not the one-night-stand type if girl so I steer clear of that one now. Bumble seems like a step or two up from Tinder and I see more people on there who are actually interested in a relationship. For a small fee, you are able to see who swiped right on you. This can be beneficial, but I don’t like that you have to pay for that feature. Also, I kind of really don’t like the fact that girls have to be the first to initiate the conversation on this app. Ugh, so annoying. Hinge is probably my favorite overall. There is no actual swiping, just scroll up and down through the person’s profile and you either like them and “heart” one of their pictures or prompts, or you don’t like them and hit the X. You are able to see who all has “liked” you, but can only view them one at a time. For a small fee, you can view them all at once. AND the guy can reach out first. If you’re on vacation somewhere, or you’re getting ready to move, you can change your location to that destination beforehand – kinda scope out what your options will be.
When it comes to how our profiles look, we want to make sure our pictures are just right, or our words are perfect, all while showing our true personality. But perfection isn’t obtainable. So, the goal is to make your profile perfectly you. Some of us are homebodies, me to be included, so making it look like we have this exciting and busy life can be a bit of a challenge. For those who are partiers or are always on the go, it can be hard to be seen as someone who can take a seat in the slow lane and enjoy the simplicities of life. Whichever the case, it can be a struggle to show your true personality while still avoiding coming off too strong or boring. I know, we’re all walking a fine line here.
So how should we set up our profiles so that we get likes? These are my suggestions (in your best Confessions II by Usher voice). We’re beautiful and have a million selfies on our phones; however, our online profiles should not scream selfie. We want to have a variety of pictures. Keep your favorite selfie on there, but also include a picture or two of you with your friends, a cute family picture, maybe a picture with your pet(s) and then a picture of you doing something super adventurous – for instance, holding an alligator, going skydiving, catching a ginormous fish, kayaking in a cool place, snowboarding/skiing – basically something that shows you are living your best life. As for the questions/prompts, they’re not my favorite, but it is good to have a couple on there. It gives people an idea of your personality and gives you a chance to be a little flirty with your responses. From my experience, they do help with starting conversations.
I do want to point out that we have to think realistically with online dating. We are all doing the same thing – trying to look and sound appealing to whoever is viewing our profile. As females, we over-analyze our own profiles and then most definitely critique the guys. IT’S NATURAL. I know for me personally, the second I see that a guy has sunglasses on in every picture, I will IMMEDIATELY swipe left or hit that X. Dude, I can’t see your face! Also, how about all of those bathroom selfies? No thank you, I want to see that he actually has a life and is having fun.
That being said, let’s get into the good and the bad of online dating sites.
THE GOOD –
Ever feel like conversation dies so quickly when you’re on a face-to-face date? Well, that is one of the beauties of online dating. We can strike up a conversation with someone in the comfort of our own home. If we aren’t too sure on how to word something, what to say, or how to introduce a new topic, we can always take a step back and put the phone down to give ourselves time to ponder. Sometimes on a face-to-face date, we get nervous or are caught off guard and are not able to give honest answers – we give nervous answers in these situations. But with online dating apps, we can think about how we really want to answer without all the nerves. Another perk – & with the help of the prompts – we are able to filter through more people at a time. I know I am guilty of seeing a guy in person, thinking he’s cute, just to find out that his personality or views are not my cup of tea. When you scroll through dating apps, you are able to rule out more guys rather than wasting your time with getting to know them on that awkward first-date dinner. Oh, the convenience of it all.
THE BAD –
First and foremost, CATFISHING. This is probably the worst thing that could happen with online dating, in my opinion. To my knowledge, I have never been victimized by this, but I could only imagine. The TV show alone makes me cringe. It’s addicting to watch, but definitely cringe-worthy. Next is probably a close second with being the worst thing about online dating apps, and that’s players. Some guys are literally only after one thing and it’s sad at how obvious they make it. Which, now that I’m writing this, that is probably the point. But there are just as many undercover players who don’t make it as obvious. These are the ones that get in our heads and make us think about having a future with them. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking. Let’s not forget about ghosting. So. Much. Ghosting. You finally find someone you enjoy talking to and have a lot in common with, only for them to just randomly stop talking to you and you’re left there in the dust wondering what you did or where it went wrong. Well, nine times out of ten, it is never your fault and nothing went wrong. He probably wasn’t ready to settle down and is still living up that single life. So just remember, if you do get ghosted, he wasn’t worth your time anyways and it’s his loss. Thank your lucky stars that you dodged that bullet!
Basically, dating apps are a lot and can suck, but they have potential to be really great and lead you to your person. In the meantime, I’m hoping for better days that hold a lot more normalcy, and organic dating makes a come-back. See you next week & stay candid!